Be a Good Sheeple: Believe Everything you are Told

Snug and warm, nestled up against our wooly brethren, safe and so cosy. What’s there to be troubled about? Whatever happens “out there” in the world, it happens to other sheeples, not to us. We are safe, cared for and loved by Our Farmer who watches over us, and will always take good care of us. He is Our Farmer. We trust him and believe everything he says because he always speaks the truth and has our best interests at heart.

It is true that, from time to time, we hear stories, rumors really, of sheep going missing or we see that one of the sheep appears to have been mistreated, but Our Farmer always has a perfectly good explanation which we can all accept without question, and we do, like the good sheeple that we are.

Just yesterday, on my way back from the fields, I stumbled upon what seemed like one of our sheep being slaughtered, but I must have been mistaken, because Our Farmer says that such things don’t happen and that anyone who says they do is our enemy, and we must not believe what they say because they only want to cause trouble and disturb our pleasant existence here in the sheep pen. So the screams of pain I heard were all in my head and the sight of the sheep having its throat cut, with its blood gushing out onto the table, was all in my imagination. Of course it was. I didn’t really see or hear those things at all. It wasn’t real because Our Farmer says that such things don’t happen in the life of a sheeple, not on our farm; and we know that Our Farmer is always right, and is honest and trustworthy.

There is another rumor that Our Farmer and his workmen EAT sheep. Ha, ha, ha. Can you believe it? The tales some people tell!. What rubbish. Our Farmer says this is another example of a loony, bozo, wingnut conspiracy theory. We all know that Our Farmer loves us, cares for us and protects us. The mere thought of someone saying that he eats sheep, well, it makes my blood boil. Anyone who says that, deserves to be punished and thrown out of the sheep pen for good. They deserve whatever punishment they get. Such fantasies! Such barefaced, evil lies!

Of course, none of us ever think of leaving the pen, because there is the sheepdog. He is always watching, and we always do exactly what he wants. He herds us about, barks and rushes at us, threateningly. We are all terrified of him, every one of us. One day, a black sheep, who is no longer in the flock, said that if we just stopped cooperating with him and refused to do what he says, then there is nothing he could do; that he has no real power over us other than the power we give him. There are simply too many of us for him to control, that really, we are more powerful than him. That he should be afraid of us, and he probably is. But that can’t be true, can it? I mean he doesn’t look afraid, does he? What a strange idea. I mean, can you imagine a thousand sheep being more powerful than one sheep dog?

And I know he can’t attack all of us at once, but what if it was me he attacked? What if I was the one he picked out to sink those big sharp white teeth into? Brrr. No, it’s better not to think about such things, and just do what we are told. It’s safer and more comfortable that way.

Sometimes, though, it does seem to me that there are less of us each day, but that must just be my memory playing tricks on me, because Our Farmer says that there is the same number as always, and that nothing has changed. In fact, more and more, Our Farmer tells us what to see, and what to think. He says its better not to think for ourselves. So, we rely on him for everything. That keeps things nice and simple.

Yes, life is good in the sheep pen. Tomorrow will be just like today, and we have nothing to worry our wooly little sheeple heads about, have we?

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